Mirror Mirror On The Wall

You might want to sit down for this.  Prepare yourself.  Here we go.

I've been going to Zumba.  There.  I said it. 

And let me tell you, I am a hoot to watch.  Of course, I haven't actually watched myself except when I accidentally catch a glance of my uncoordinated self in one of those ridiculously huge mirrors that are inevitably on every wall of any exercise facility east of the Mississippi.  I'd say they are on the walls west of the Mississippi too, but anytime I've been out that way I wasn't exercising.  So I will only speak from experience.  Why do they insist on those big honkin' mirrors anyway? I guarantee you that for every one person who enjoys admiring his/her lovely physique, there are ninety-nine others who do everything within their power to position themselves as far away from the mirrors as possible.  Unfortunately for me, if I want to be in the back (and who wouldn't) for Zumba, chances are I'm going to be beside that mirror.  The very last thing I need to see if my sweaty, red-faced self bouncing around for an hour.  You would think the least they could do would be to put in one of those fun house mirrors that make you look really skinny.  I actually think that's an excellent idea.  Maybe I'll put it in the suggestion box.

Anyway, let's get back to Zumba.  It's not just any ordinary Zumba.  It's Club Zumba! It's supposed to be designed to help you pretend you're at a club dancing the night away having the time of your life so there's latin/hiphop music, colored lights, a smoke machine, and get this....a disco ball.  The truth is, while that's all well and good, everybody really goes because they turn the lights off.  Let's face it, everybody is more comfortable looking like an idiot in the dark.  It gives you the illusion that nobody can see you, but come on now, you and I both know that's not true.  However, I'm too busy splitting my time between trying to follow the "I couldn't do this in college so what makes me think I can do it now" dance steps and trying really hard NOT to have a heart attack.  There is no time or energy left to worry about whether or not somebody is looking at me.  Truth is, they're probably just trying to stay alive too.  It's hard core in there.  Not for the faint of heart.  Especially if you stand by the mirror.